I started writing "America's Playground No More" by freewriting for awhile. Then I re-wrote it many times. Below here are the freewriting and drafts the essay went through. I did not highlight or show the editing in it for you. See if you can see the differences in each draft. The first one is not focused and doesn't have a clear thesis at the beginning. By the last draft, I had narrowed the focus and made sure the thesis was at the beginning, but also repeated it through the essay in various points. Please note that I used the Associated Press style, not an academic style, for the citations. Since my students hate doing outlines, I decided to try writing this without an outline to see how that would work, and then see if I am being too harsh by always making them include one with their essays. I think it would have been better organized if I had done one. You be the judge.
Freewriting
Draft 1
Draft 2
Draft 3
Final version
Freewriting
Draft 1
Draft 2
Draft 3
Final version